Vampires, Werewolves, and Missing Daddies

I’ve seen every Underworld since the series started.  The storyline of vampires and werewolves waging a centuries old battle captivates me.  The plots move swiftly and connect to the action like symbiotic twins.  Any questions posed during the first two movies were answered in the prequel, Rise of The Lycans.  The latest one to be released, Underworld: Awakening, was not as crisp as the others but still enjoyable.  As I replayed the movie in my mind, I was struck by an understated point; in the movie there was an absentee father.

The more I thought about the movie franchise, I noticed more of the same theme running through previous iterations.  Selene’s father was killed when she was a girl.  Somebody tried to step in and take his place, but it wasn’t the same.  Alexander Corvinus, the original immortal, was not around for his sons, and they grew up to run amok.  Now…let those two points marinate for a sec, or 60.  The fact that Corvinus watched his sons from the periphery, but never engaged them only makes his absence harder to understand.  Being a half @$$ father wouldn’t have been any better.  In fact, half @$$ing it would only  have made the situation worse, and could make his absenteeism generational.

In Underworld: Evolution (the first sequel), Selene the vampire and Michael Corvin (the hybrid wolf vampire) consummate their “union”.  Fast forward to Awakening, and during the middle of the movie we find out Selene had given birth to a child; a girl.  Now, the unbelief that an “undead” could even produce a child must be suspended.  Amidst all the CGI animation, stylized violence and Kate Beckinsaleness of Kate Beckinsale is a girl without her father.  The one parent who can best protect her, and show her how to harness the gifts she’s been imbued with, isn’t around to do it.  Without giving too much more away, the circumstances would not allow Michael to do so.  Sound familiar though, does it not?

In this particular case, Mike was separated from his woman, and had no knowledge of his child.  Who is to say if things would have turned out differently had he been there.  Then too, the movie wouldn’t have been nearly as good.

Have you noticed the absentee father angle in the Underworld movies?

Your Opinion Matters…And Doesn’t

* this is somewhat admittedly hypocritical*

It was on my mind to start a blog for about a year.  I finally made the move to do so this past October.  Before doing so however, I took time to read up on blogging styles, content, and the best sites to use as a blogging template.  I also wondered, “whats am I going to write about, and what OS the point of a blog”?  I try to read a variety ones, but for the most part  I mean, most of the ones I’ve read seem to have the same underlying premise.  What is that?

Glad you asked.

Expressing opinions, viewpoints and sharing experiences seems is the answer.  And this is for both the Blogger and their audience.  Subject matters vary, but the need to espouse thoughts and allow others to do the same is what all Bloggers do.  Some of the subject is light-hearted, some personal, and some down right serious.  Something that also struck me though; we all (including myself) want these opinions to matter.  The funny thing is; they often don’t.  This isn’t to say none ever do, but the chances of our thoughts and opinions changing thinking, well, I’ll take the under on that bet.  Yes, some folks will agree and some will disagree, but at the end of the day, will what someone read on a blog matter?  We all strive to make a difference.  Yet, if they difference doesn’t impact someone’s life for the better (even to just give a laugh) is it really worth it?

I may be getting too serious here, but there are so many blogs that cater to different audiences.  It may not be millions of people, but a blogger’s place in the blogosphere is a spot that can and will affect a life, somewhere.  This space can create a place where frank discussion, and the sharing of ideas can take place.  In other words, blogs are a powerful medium.

I say this to say, you never know who is reading what you, or your commenters write.  For some, it’s just a different point of view.  For others, the words can change someone’s outlook on a situation.  The question is, what is your end game?

Agree?  Disagree?  Is it too serious?  Talk to me.

The Double Mind

James 1:8 – “…they are double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

The Bible speaks of people who are dual-minded a few times.  When folk hear these verses, they almost always think about serving God and serving Satan; rightly so.  One moment you’re going right, and then the next, left.  Ordinarily, this subject is skewed by a question about someone’s spiritual leanings, but never about the practical applications of having a double mind.  Really, the person who is double-minded is indecisive.  Indecision leads to stagnation, and stagnation to death, metaphorically, spiritually, and sometimes physically.

People are presented with options for just about everything.  Food, cars, furniture; choices abound all around us.  We can get overwhelmed by the array or choices at our disposal.  So overwhelmed in fact they we won’t make any choice at all.  At this point is where stagnation comes in.  We have to stay away from handicapping ourselves by indecision.  If we are to progress in our lives, we must be decisive and purposeful in our thinking and commitments.  We must first put our hearts into what we want to pursue.  More importantly, we have to make up our minds to do one thing extremely well before we can decide on the next step.

That next step has to make sure that there is no room for instability also.  Instability leads to nothing getting done.  Think about people we know that have a plethora of ideas to pursue.  Are they working on any of them, or just talking about getting started?  Is any progress being made?  If not, it’s probably because these folks can’t decide what to work on first.  Plans (dreams) stagnate, not getting the oxygen and nurturing needed to flourish.  The folks need to choose the dream that will improve their situation first, then feed it.  Feeding this dream strengthens it, and allows it to grow roots.  Roots will be the foundation once that thing is planted in fertile soil (the stable mind).  Roots also help keep dreams from being toppled by outside forces (naysayers and unbelief), because as the roots get deeper, they provide stability.  And after all, stability is what we all need anyway.

The question is though, focusing on what, will provide YOU stability?

Stirred, Not Shaken Part II: …So It Continues

I failed my daughter.

It’s a painful admission to make; but the reality is I did.  I don’t make this admission as a woe is me statement, or to abuse myself.  More so, it’s an acknowledgment that, based on God’s design for families, and the well-being of children, the ball got dropped.  Arguments will always be made that it takes two people to make a relationship work, but one to end it.  Well, it takes two to do that also, despite what “they” say.  My daughter’s mother and I set our child up to not get what vowed, and that is a stable home life.  This fact makes me wonder, will my daughter feel some of the same things I did growing up.

Will there be days where she wants to kiss and hug me, but I won’t be there?  Yes.  Will there be items she needs, and I’ll have to try to scramble to get them?  Yes.  Will I wish to have my daughter with me all the time?  I do.  But because of the choices her mother and I made, her life stands a  good chance of continuing as it is now.  Perhaps, if I had a son, I might think differently, but judging from my life I doubt it.  She is my first-born, my original baby girl, and I let her down, even if she doesn’t know it.

Perhaps I am projecting feelings I had or have, on my daughter’s present and future situation.  Even so, there is a definite basis for what she may feel growing up.  As her dad, it’s my duty to protect her from hurts and pains in this life, even though I know that she has to experience them.  Knowing that a few of those hurts are caused by me, well, that makes it even worse.  No doubt the deepest one would be if she ever asked me, “daddy, why weren’t my mommy and me ever good enough”?  What do I say that will be satisfactory to her?  I wonder how she will feel when she has siblings, born from my wife and I?  Will she consider them full siblings and not half?  Will she long to be around them all the time?  As they grow up, will there be a connection that they’ve fostered by my guiding hand, and not one I’ve forced on them?  All these questions are before me when I think about the emotional baggage my daughter may face.

These questions stem from my own actions.   We adults are so casual about who we lay with; not really thinking about how a child will change things.  It definitely brings home why God made it so that children are to he born AFTER marriage.  The issues that arise when a child is born before marriage can and usually do cause emotional upheaval for the prospective parents.  I am thankful though that at this juncture, my daughter doesn’t seem to have any unusual hang-ups.  Her mother and I try to keep her happy, and so far, we’re doing an okay job.  I’m not around as much as I want, or feel I need to be.  I do what I can though.

As she gets older, no doubt I’ll overcompensate at times, but that goes with the territory.  So long as my baby girl knows I’m her daddy, I love her with all my heart, and will do all in my God-given power to be the man in her life she needs me to be, I must trust God that she will be okay.  Since He chose me to be father, He must know and believe I’ll be a good one to her.

Stirred, Not Shaken part 1: Growing Up Blended

Nowadays, it is way past normal for a child to grow up in a blended family.  The nuclear, traditional structure that God intended for the family dynamic has been usurped by the random choices of men and women.  These choices directly influence how the children born of these unions will mature.  It is up to men and women to make sure that stirred up kids are not shaken from the trees that hold the roots of the child’s foundation; just like me.

I grew up in a blended family; I was in two of them. It never occurred to me how I was affected, until I perpetuated it on my first-born. It has helped me also see that well, we all have daddy issues on some level.

I cannot remember a time when my Dad wasn’t around. For all the important days growing up, he was front and center, right alongside of Mom. The thing is though, on a day-to-day basis, it was me and Moms. I could call Dad (Mom made sure I did) but I never lived with him. Besides the holidays and weekends, I was never able to consistently open my eyes in the morning and say “good morning Dad.” This never really bothered me, at least I do not recall it ever bothering me. If I ever needed to talk to him, I could. If I needed something, he’d try to get it, or help my mother acquire it (or so I assume). But the daily hugs and kisses from Dad? Nope; did not happen.

I never asked my parents why they didn’t make it as a couple. As far as I was concerned, it was none of my business. If they wanted to share, cool. Even at 31, I have realized they raised me the best way they knew how, which is really all anyone could ever ask of their parents. Yet, I still wonder, had I grown up in a “traditional” family have affected my life’s choices? Who knows. Again, it really does not matter. My folks had to live their lives, and the way they did influenced me though.

My father got married when I was around 6. To this day, I have nothing but love for my second mother. Growing up though, I never wanted to offend her, or allow my mother to feel like I had split loyalties. Heck of a way to feel at under 10 years old. I could not decipher it then, but I can now. After a couple of years, BOOM! I had now a little brother. He was born when I was 8. It took some adjusting to the fact that Dad now had another son; and I wouldn’t grow up with this baby in the same house. He would grow up with MY Dad though. Looking back, I guess I could have been upset, but I don’t think I was. I had never lived with Dad, so how could I miss it? Yet, I was missing what my new brother was able to have. I never felt like an outsider though, so this feeling was admittedly fleeting. Time went on and I took to being an older brother quite well. A few years after this, my mother got married and things shifted again.

Mom and dad number 2 (D2) seemed happy, and I was happy for her. Perhaps me and D2 could build a bond and voilà, I got a Pops in the house too. Not to replace my dad, just to augment his place when he couldn’t be there. Yeah, well, that didn’t quite happen. I learned and continue to learn from D2, but that connect just wasn’t happening, and it really still isn’t there; probably because he wasn’t Dad.

I’ve grown into a pretty well-adjusted man. I love all my parents, but I vowed never to have any of my children grow up like I did, in the non-traditional way. That didn’t quite work out too well, as I now have a daughter, not born of my wife. Knowing how it felt growing up like this, I feel guilty for subjecting my daughter to the same situation. I know that her mother and I wouldn’t have made it as a couple, in hindsight. This knowledge still doesn’t ease the feeling that somehow, I already have failed in providing my daughter the most stable upbringing possible. Her mother deserves happiness , and I do to. However, since I couldn’t get the biblically prescribed stability that she needs done right the first time; seeing her father love a woman as his wife, in a healthy way, is the next best thing.

At least it’s what I tell myself to sleep better at night.

What the h3!! is a Suburban Thug?

thug: a brutal ruffian or assassin

suburban: pertaining to the outlying area around a city or town

Anybody growing up on the outskirts of a city has the potential to be, a suburban thug. But why? Quite simply, it’s what we are manufacturing in our society. Nowadays, we have these young guns who want to be considered real, trill, and the gangsta ideal: anything that can perpetuate toughness. The thing is though, a lot of these pseudo tough guys, well, they not tough.

Case and point, how can someone go to private school, charter, even public school, be part of the middle class (upper middle class is now just middle, thanks economy!) and yet claim to be a thug?! THEY CAN’T! These suburban thugs are putting on an aura of “F the world, when really, it’s a lifestyle most of them no nothing about, or only know peripherally. The images and music we  feed to these young guns help perpetuate the myth of the suburban thug. Today though, a new definition of the suburban thug is going into effect.

The new suburban thug is a guy who still lives on the outskirts of the city, and yes, he even is still brutal. But the brutality is of the honest kind, his assassins skills are only to assassinate stereotypes and puffed up ideas of “toughguyness”. In other words, the NEW suburban thug is just a regular guy, with a regular life, trying to do extraordinary things. He has opinions on wide-ranging subjects, but tries to look at everything from a biblically practical standpoint.

Being a suburban thug ain’t for everyone, but if you think the description fits you,  welcome to the musings of THE Suburban Thug…